Uncle Love

Why do people post such improbable sexual request on Craigslist? My buddy Tim is searching through these random entries. It's goddamn hilarious. I mean, I was aware that dudes would post pictures of their dicks and whatnot in hopes of finding that perfect slut just so eager to ride their phallus simply because they took a picture of their erection and adhered it to the cyber swap meet. However, I was not aware that for many people attempting to get their jollies off, sending out Hail Mary's to random people they've encountered seems worthy of their time and effort no matter how improbable the chance of a response. Here are some good ones:

Home Depot off of Citrus n Fontana - m4m - 26 (909 Fontana)

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Date: 2009-08-12, 7:16PM PDT

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on Tuesday at around 10am i was walkin into the Home Depot off of citrus in north fonatana ish as you were walking out off the self check-out lane, but it seemed like you were having problems. We looked at each other for a while it seemed, but it was just seconds. You are so fucken hot, attractive, masculine and handsum...U were wearing a white Tshirt i believe with shorts and sandals, send me over a pic and let me know what I was wearing and lets go grab a drink or lunch or dinner or something...ur hott dude =)

• Location: 909 Fontana
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1320405600

you are my uncle - m4m - 19 (moreno valley)

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Date: 2009-08-12, 11:32AM PDT

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yes, i said it..you're my uncle. i've always fantisized about you getting me from behind. I live with you, and i have to jerk off after everytime i see u in ur boxers. We live on carolyn ave, and if this is you let me know where your tattoos are and how many kids you have. i really hope you find this, even though the chances are slim.

• Location: moreno valley
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1319625371

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Pretty Latina - Tyler Mall Starbucks - w4w - 45 (Starbucks-Tyler Mall)

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Date: 2009-07-23, 3:05PM PDT

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You said we were out of place with all the teenagers. Do you know that I wanted to invite you to my place? If you see this and are interested....write me...tell me who was with you in the food court at Starbucks.....

• Location: Starbucks-Tyler Mall
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1285539530

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Krissy Please Dont Do This To Us - m4w (Hesperia)

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Date: 2009-08-16, 10:12PM PDT

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Krissy last night was so special PLEASE call or text me
I want and need you and Makayla in my life
I know i messed up i could tell when we said goodnight
Your so special to me and I want you bad
Ed xoxoxoxoxoxo

• Location: Hesperia
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1327070885

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Fuckin A.

-Brian